While living in Philadelphia, he used to hang around the train station and sell drawings he'd done of his penis.
Clash of the Species:
Seals vs. Man
Seals invented being adorable and balancing beach balls on their noses.
Man invented Clubbing Seals.
Winner: Man
Don't Believe Your Parents:
The tooth fairy is just code for the secretary that your dad is plowing.
Why I'm Going To Hell:
Apparently, there's a difference between flushing your fish and smothering your neighbor's kids.
Corrections:
It has come to my attention that Yule Brynner is dead and not going to be in tomorrow's pie eating contest.
A Formal Apology:
I would like to apologize to anyone who was in attendance at last weeks Cubs game. I did not realize that prostitute was dead.
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