**THE WRITERS OF "SANTA'S IN THE TRUNK" WOULD LIKE TO CONDEMN THE STAFF OF ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE. YOUR PUBLICATION CONTAINED NO MENTION OF FALLING ROCKS. THIS KIND OF FALSE ADVERTISING IS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH PRINTED MEDIA TODAY. SO PLEASE, TO ALL OUR FOLLOWERS, START A BOYCOTT OF ROLLING STONE AND REFER YOUR FRIENDS TO "SANTA'S IN THE TRUNK"**
Known for eating his french fries with mayo instead of ketchup. Also, his french fries were made of fingers.
What's Happening in Estonia?
In an attempt to boost tourism, a vote is being held to change the name of the country to "Not Estonia".
Something You May Have Missed:
The man you've been calling "dad" hasn't had a left ear for the last three days.
Corrections:
It has come to my attention that Yule Brynner is dead and not the Zodiac Killer.
Why I'm Going To Hell:
I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy. I only raped him.
This Day in History:
Polaroid and Outkast plan world domination with the song "Hey Ya"
Things Gore Vidal Has Said to Me:
"Quit hogging the cocaine."
A Quick Note for My Neighbors:
Some Cambodian kid keeps leaving letter bombs in front of my door. They always have your address though.
Movie Spoilers for Films I Haven't Seen:
Accepted:
No one is accepted by any form of society and a mass suicide takes place, I hope.
A Formal Apology:
I would like to apologize to Jenna Jameson and the families of the victims of the holocaust. That billboard I took out on Halstead will be taken down.
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