Invented the Faux-hawk.
Secrets of the American Dental Association:
The ADA never intended for Nagasaki to get bombed. But there was never talk of stopping it.
Corrections:
It has come to my attention that Yule Brynner is dead and won't be selling hand-woven hats at this week's farmer's market.
What's Happening in Estonia?:
Too much polygamy and not enough firefighting.
Don't Believe Your Parents:
You don't have the flu. Go lick your classmates.
Why I'm Going to Hell:
Dogfighting is, apparently, only supposed to done Dog vs. Dog, not Dog vs. Baby.
In Science News:
Tomorrow, the moon will perfectly line up with Jupiter and all of the orphan's will suddenly start a massive breeding frenzy.
Clash of the Species:
Man vs. Lightening Bug
Man invented catching lightening bugs in a jar. The gayest activity ever.
Lightening Bugs invented being the gayest insect ever.
Winner: Neither
A Formal Apology:
I'd like to apologize to the members of the Free and Accepted Masons. I didn't realize that I had to bring my own condoms to the orgy. Luckily, HIV treatment has come a long way in the past 20 years.
No comments:
Post a Comment
Let Me Know What You Think: (Leave your address and Social Security Number for a special prize!)