**The writers of "Santa's In The Trunk" would like to apologize for the lack of posts. It turns out the concoction of mushrooms and Robitussin we consumed to write the last segment were a bit more potent than we'd expected. Needless to say we'll miss the fine people of Zambia, we're not sure how we ended up there but they sure were friendly. Also, please enjoy the new Sidebar of Awesomeness.**
True Facts About Edgar Allen Poe:
Was an innovator in the art of Slam Dancing
Something You May Have Missed:
If you don't wear a Bolo Tie for more than a week it turns into a small cow.
Secrets of the American Dental Association:
Took over the Standard-Oil Trust after the Sherman Anti-Trust Act "broke it up".
Corrections:
It has come to my attention that Yule Brynner is dead and won't be giving his lecture, "Race Relations in Ancient Rome", at Northwestern this weekend.
Why I'm Going To Hell:
While I believe the term "Hamster Holocaust" is a bit strong, I guess it's accurate from a numbers standpoint.
Reason's I've Been Fired:
Best Buy: Didn't keep a close watch on the skull lined tunnel that is their "back room".
House of Blues: Came to work just a bit too chipper.
Gimbel's: Turns out Gimbel's has been closed since 1986. It might explain why I was the only one who tried out to be Santa Clause, also might explain why I was the only employee.
In Science News:
Researchers at Northwestern have officially deemed lighting your farts as "awesome".
What's Happening in Estonia?:
Festival Day, a celebration marking the day that authorities finally caught the dreaded "Willow Tree Humper". Traditional foods for Festival Day include gray mush and slightly grayer mush (both of which taste like salmon).
Movie Spoilers for Films I Haven't Seen:
Layer Cake:
Daniel Craig has a birthday party. I assume.
A Formal Apology:
I'd like to apologize to the creators of the show "Perfect Strangers". I will make sure my site removes all of the "erotic parodies" I made.
